抽烟这回事

抽烟，有者称之为吸烟、食烟、烧烟。 相信每个人身边必定有几位朋友或亲戚嗜抽烟，甚至你自己也是吞云吐雾的一群。这么说好像有贬低抽烟人士的味道，但我绝没有这个意思，我不歧视抽烟的人；不像一些自命清高、自以为是的人总是说道：“吸烟危害健康，吸烟的人害人害己，吸烟的人不得好死。” 这些指控我都承认，但并不认同。常常有人会问：“吸烟危害健康，对你身体不好，为什么你还要吸呢?”。
吸烟危害健康，只要是略有常识的成年人都懂得，每一个吸烟的人都知道每吸一口烟，都是在造成身体上的伤害。
但是每个人都有开始吸烟的原因，有些人是藉着吸烟驱逐寂寞之感，有些人吸烟只是纯粹的自我放逐，有些人吸烟只是一种习惯，有些人吸烟是为了解思念之情。
试想一个寂寞的人，在寂寞的时候只是想燃一支烟，籍着吞吐烟圈来消除寂寞，难道你还要剥夺他吸烟的自由吗？
可想而知，自我放逐的人；不管是为了什么原因，其痛苦是非一般的方法所能解脱的。如果你连他稍减痛苦的方法都夺走，无疑是在加深他的痛苦而已。
曾听说过一些创作人：作家、音乐家、电影人，他们在寻找灵感时，手上都会夹着一支香烟。据说是一种习惯性的动作，需要有一支烟在手，思绪才会顺畅。倪匡先 生除了自喻是全世界写方块写得最多的人，他也曾说过，他未曾见过抽烟比他抽得凶的人。他在访谈中自嘲地说：“你看过有人一面刷牙一面抽烟的吗？”。 倪匡先生写作的最高峰时期，同时有十二家报社连载他的作品。这些作品都是他关在小房间里，伴随着缭绕的烟雾写出来的。
身为朋友的，对抽烟的朋友劝说少抽烟固然是出自关心，但过分干扰朋友抽烟的自由就会影响友情。我赞成适当的劝解，毕竟抽烟的确危害健康；最讨厌一看朋友抽出一条烟就露出厌恶的那张嘴脸。这种人欠缺社会经验，不懂得人际沟通之道。不论你说出以上种种的抽烟理由，他都不会谅解且接受。跟这种脑袋灌了水泥的人讲再多也是枉然。

ctrl-w if you dont want to see this

you know why some christian really pissed me off? (i mean SOME christian and not meaning ALL. only partial should i say.) is that they worship their god so much like they can't live on another day without god. now i didn't mean to offend you people out there, i've got friends that are christian, moderate one and extreme one. let me state a point. RELIGIONS ARE GOOD. christian, catholic, islam, buddist, hindu etc etc. they all teaches us to be a better person and contribute to the community well. but well, some christians just being so extreme. i once heard my friend said that his father told him that if he is gonna be a christian, don't ever thank the god for giving you the meals before he eat because his FATHER gave him the food. which i quite agree to that point. think of it, your parents work hard everyday to earn money and give you the best to raise you up as a completely developed adult, and now you are thanking your god for all this? i mean the one you have to thank so much is your parents. well, for as far as i know, some people call their god FATHER. seriously, who is the one working bloody hard out there as the financial support of your family? another thing is that christians like to convert other ppl to join them. i once go to the christian fellowship in sunway college and it was the scariest experience in my life. i can understand you sing to praise your god, but with tears? with your arm so up high like you are touching your god? i was shocked to see that. i felt like i was in some cults meeting. then they was sharing their 'experience with god' with each others. some say if it wasn't because of god, they can't achieve what they have achieved for now. they had to depend on god to do achieve their goal in their life. ok, again i agree that it is good for people to have faith on something like religions and you repose yourself in it. this is what religion made perfect for the human beings. but having doing too much is just sort of getting carried away. after i attended that christian fellowship thingy or should i say i just kind of ran away from it because i was too weak for all these god thingy, i can swear that i would never become a christian nor i will allow my kids to be one. well, i still believe that christianity is good. at least it is good for a non-extremist. anything too extreme is bad already. like some terrorist in the middle east distort islam. which lead to the world thinks that islam is evil when that is only some extremist that carry the name of islam to do terrible things. and i used to think buddist is the best religion of all because it only teaches us to do good things to prevent bad karma on you and the doctrine are all no-nonsense. but when i listen to the monks to ask me to say namoamitabha a hundred times per day for 49 days to help my grandfather have peace in another world, i somehow feel that this is a bit unreasonable. for i believe in karma, i feel that my grandfather will have peace in there if he had been behaved good and done good things when he was in this world.
anyway, let me emphasize again, i did not mean to offend any religion here. but just to discuss on the phenomenom that i have seen. correct me if there is any mistakes i made.

frustrating...

...when you know you feel sleepy but you just can't sleep for no reason.
i hope i got a sandman work for me every-fucking-sleepless-night.
didn't have good sleep also last night.
damn!
i just want to sleep NORMALLY. can?


another frustrating thing is when you see your download rate only goes up to 20kB/s when it usually goes up to 200kB/s.

Why do I feel emo easily recently?

i think failing a unit last sem is the main reason to demoralize me.
when i thought uni student should be enjoying their life without considering much on their study before they graduate and go to work like a dog everyday, i was proved wrong when i failed a unit last sem.
that guilty feeling is growing bigger when time passed instead of disappearing. guilty of making my parents pay another 4k while the tuition fee is already a hefty 33k annually. guilty of not doing my best in the finals when they actually thought that i worked hard on it. no, i did not gave in my best effort when doing the final exam. i doubt i can put on 100% effort on this sem's either.
while i always dream of studying abroad since i was a kid, the plan just didn't go well as the wealth of my family couldn't support me to go study abroad and there is this chance that i can go study in Australia for a relatively lower cost which i believe my parents are more capable of sending me there, but i think i will kinda screw it up as it requires some results which i did not achieved it. although it is just a 0.75 difference but really that was a shame as this is suppose to be easy for other people.
suddenly i see darkness ahead of my life. there are more uncertainties to come. i am not confident enough to overcome all those. i feel weak. no doubt that i changes a lot this year. i wouldn't have thought of all those stresses come to me when i was in first year. now i am only in second year , i still have 2 years to go.
damn! while people tends to say working is far more stressful than studying, i can't even think of what will i become after i graduate and eventually is at work.
gosh i need motivations and the most important of all, concentration.

i am not dead

just no mood to write

Mourn......

25th Aug 2008
7.45pm
a family member have left us...

















R.I.P.














Granpa

读读看

《施氏食狮史》

石室诗士施氏，嗜狮，誓食十狮。施氏时时适市视狮。
十时，适十狮适市。是时，适施氏适市。
氏视是十狮，恃矢势，使是十狮逝世。
氏拾是十狮尸，适石室。石室湿，氏使侍拭石室。
石室拭，氏始试食是十狮。食时，始识是十狮，实十石狮尸。
试释是事。

《施氏吃狮子的故事》
石室里住着一位诗人姓施，爱吃狮子，决心要吃十只狮子。
他常常去市场看狮子。
十点钟，刚好有十只狮子到了市场。
那时候，刚好施氏也到了市场。
他看见那十只狮子，便放箭，把那十只狮子杀死了。
他拾起那十只狮子的尸体，带到石室。
石室湿了水，施氏叫侍从把石室擦干。
石室擦干了，他才试试吃那十只狮子。
吃的时候，才发现那十只狮子，原来是十只石头的狮子尸体。
试试解释这件事吧。